My name is Visnujana das. I joined ISKCON in Russia in 1992. Following
most of the other young devotees joining the movement at the time I
was privileged to also be fully and blissfully engaged in book
distribution and other preaching activities. In fact I often think of
that special mercy of Srila Prabhupada upon us at those days and I
think that was extremely important for us. Time went on, I received
initiation from Srila Indradyumna Swami Maharaja (ISKCON). I was
inspired by his sincere determination in following the desire of Srila
Prabhupada to give the chanting to everyone, and also I was inspired
by his vaisnava qualities. In fact when I first met Srila Narayana
Maharaja in 2005, when he was told I had been initiated by Indradyumna
Swami, he began to glorify him, especially pointing out his successful
efforts in preaching Harinam-sankirtana all over the world. But I'd
like to jump a couple of years back..
In around 2004 some dissatisfaction began to develop in my heart. I
was thinking: "I have chanted the same mantra, have read the same
books as many great Vaisnavas (think of our acariyas) did.. However,
They were immersed in bliss and I was still oppressed by material
desires." I appreciated I had, what I would call at the time, some
test in Krishna Consciousness; for sure I had a lot of gratitude for
Srila Prabhupada and I definitely considered myself to be very lucky
having been introduced to this movement. However, I also began to
realize that the actual Bhakti must have been much more than what I
could imagine. I thought to myself: "Bhakti Rasamrita-sindhu – the
ocean of nectar of Bhakti", 'the lotus feet', 'beyond liberation'.. I
read this phrases every day. Do I have an idea of what they really
mean? I understood that I had not. But that did not discourage me, as
I thought: "Well, at least now I know (have faith) that Bhakti is
something extraordinary, something very high and beautiful. I also
have a strong faith that our acariyas do have that (what they are
talking about) in full and that is what they are passing down to us
out of Their unlimited kindness. Now this is my responsibility to
receive it. I got to have that!" Then I began praying to our
Guru-parampara to help me in this, to give me some guidance. I
especially wanted to know who nowadays can give that very same 'real'
bhakti. It's not that I knew what 'pure bhakti' was. (I still don't).
Neither did I feel I had had some special qualification to even expect
to receive it. I have none. However, since the acariyas, the pure
Vaisnavas have made so much effort to reach out to us I felt this was
my right and well, duty to try my best to receive it. I also felt
attracted by this new concept and some faith was there too that I
could in fact receive that mercy. Anyway, I did the prayers for some
weeks and then it all so happened that Srila Narayana Maharaja's
followers were to have a festival in the area and Srila Narayana
Maharaja was to stay in a house right next to mine! : ) (in Ramadas
Prabhu's house, Efland, NC, 2004). Although Srila Gurudeva could not
have come that year because of some illness (that was devastating news
especially for me as I had been really excited I could meet him now
for the first time.), sure enough that was still a good start for me.
Well, that's how I took it then. Sripad Bhagavat Maharaj with a few
other devotees stayed in our house for those a few days, and I got my
first book by Gurudeva from him. That was Bhakti-Tattva-Viveka by
Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. When I opened it up and started reading I
was amazed to see and feel how appealing it was! :) It immediately
reminded me 1990 when I got Bhagavat-Gita by Srila Prabhupada and 1998
when I got when I got to read 'Pariprashna' by Srila Gour-Govinda
Swami. – It had the same kind of effect on me. I am sure most of
devotees know what I am talking about. We've had this experience.
After this the story (which is quite amazing for me) continued, but I
guess I am taking too much time and space here. So, I will stop here