29 June 1996 New Vraja
We Should Cry Out
[Hari-katha spoken by Nitya Lila Pravista Om Visnupada Astottara Sata Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja – Srila Gurudeva]
[Srila Gurudeva begins the class by explaining the verses of Srila Narottama das Thakura’s song—“Radha Krishna Prana mora Yugala Kishora” that had previously been sung by the devotees.]
Srila Narottama das Thakura prays, “When will that day come when by the mercy of Sri Gaura Nityananda Prabhu, I will go to Vrindavana? And when by the mercy of Sri Rupa Raghunatha will I behold the pristine beauty of Vrindavana and serve the Divine Couple—Sri Radha Krishna Yugala? “Radha Krishna Prana mora Yugala Kisora—Radha and Krishna are my life and soul.” When will this day come?”
Without the mercy of Srila Rupa Gosvami we cannot have the mercy of Sri Gaurachandra and without the mercy of Sri Gaurachandra; we cannot see Vrindavana ‘as it is.’ Now when we go to Vrindavana, we don’t see the real beauty of Vrindavana. We go, sit, and leave. So, Srila Narottama das Thakura prayerfully sings this bhajan while weeping bitterly. Tears cascade from his eyes accompanied with the melting of his heart. We should try to follow in the footsteps of Srila Narottama das Thakura. If these moods of devotion are not churned within our hearts, then we must know that our offenses are preventing this cascade of tears. Different kinds of aparadha like nama aparadha, seva aparadha, vaishnava aparadha are deterring us from reaching our cherished aspiration. So how will these different kinds of offenses go? By chanting, remembering, and engaging in services more and more. We should especially pray to Sri Radha Krishna, Vrinda-devi, Yogamaya, and especially to Sri Radha kunda and Shyama kunda. Radha kunda and Shyama kunda are not merely ‘ponds.’ They are the melted forms of Krishna and Srimati Radhika.
Then will we see this beautiful Vrindavana, where Yamuna is flowing with the beautiful lotus flowers blooming on her surface. Bees are humming around the flowers. Big, big cows are present with milk pouring from their udders. Calves are jumping here and there, searching for Krishna. So when will a day come when I will be purified and qualified to serve Radha and Krishna Conjugal? And They will be my life and soul. When will a day come when I will have so many good varieties of kunkum, mrgamadha (musk), and kesar (saffron)? By grinding them together, I will make a very beautiful ointment and apply them as a thilak on the forehead of Sri Radha and Krishna. When will this day come? We should also have a little greed and this greed will take us to Vrindavana. Otherwise chanting, remembering, and archana for lakhs and lakhs of births will not take us to Vrindavana.
Krishna bhakti rasa bhavatah matih..So we should know that this greed can take us to Vrindavana, but what kind of greed am I speaking about?
“When will I serve Srimati Radhika? When will I see Vrindavana? When will I have the mercy of Radha kunda?”
So Srila Narottama das Thakura is weeping and praying to Krishna, and Srimati Radhika, while praying, “I long for the day when I will serve Srimati Radhika and Krishna with divine love and affection.”
[Srila Gurudeva instructs the devotee to continue singing Radha Krishna prana mora Yugala Kishora]: So go on.
[Srila Gurudeva resumes speaking after a couplet is sung]: When will that day come when I will collect the flowers beli, chameli, and malati? These are very beautiful flowers. Taking seven kinds of flowers like juhi, beli, champak; I will make a four feet long garland. The name of this garland is Vaijayanthi mala. I will also string some tulasi manjaris and leaves with the flowers of the garland. Tulasi manjaris have so much honey that bees hover around them. With the garland in hand, I will go to Lalitha and tell her, “O Lalitha, I have made this beautiful flower garland. I wish that you garland Radha Krishna Conjugal with this garland.” They will come and order and we will make a beautiful garland. And this garland will be given to the Divine Couple.
Srimati Radhika will ask Lalitha, “Who has made this beautiful and fragrant garland?”
Lalitha will reply, “Oh this new bona fide gopi girl has strung the garland.”
“Indeed, this garland is so beautiful. I like garlands like these.”
When will a day come when Krishna and Srimati Radhika will speak like this?
“Adhare tuliya dibo karpura tambule,” when will that day come when Visakha will tell me:
“O come on and make a beautiful tambula (betel nut) preparation.” Adding karpura and other beautiful spices, the tambula will be very beautiful. And I will give this preparation in the hands of Srimati Radhika. Srimati Radhika will take it and place it in the mouth of Krishna. Krishna plays on the flute, slightly smiling. Looking eagerly from the corner of His eyes, Srimati Radhika will smile a little at that time. And Krishna will give His heart solely. When will this day come?
So we can daily pray like this. This will increase our greed, and Radha-Krishna’s heart will melt. Krishna will then manage everything. Very soon, He will take us. Then He will give us a taste in chanting and hearing His name and pastimes described in Srimad Bhagavatham and Caitanya Caritamrta. He will instill in us much honor for Gurudeva and Gurudeva will be seen in many forms. Then we cannot imagine the magic that has been performed.
So I am praying for this. Srila Narottama das Thakura is a very beloved associate of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. He is praying. All our disciplic order after Srila Narottama das Thakura think, “We are so fortunate to be in the line of Srila Narottama Thakura, Shyamananda Prabhu, Srinivasa Acharya, Srila Vishvanatha Cakravarthi Thakura.” Srila Vishvanatha Thakura is a very renowned, merciful, sweet, rasika, bhavuka, and a special kind of bhavuka bhakta. After, came a bona fide guru whose name is Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. He is in their line. He is called Saptham Gosvami, the title given to him after the Sad-Gosvamis. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura has done marvelous works. He has penned sweet literature. He was also in Krishna lila. Srimati Radhika has sent him to this world.
So Srila Narottama das Thakura prays..
[Devotee continues singing the bhajan.]
“Lalitha Visakha adi jata sakhi vrnda, ajyaya koribe seva caranaravinda.”
Srila Gurudeva: Srila Narottama das Thakura is again praying: “O when will that day come when I will see Radha and Krishna sitting on a golden throne? Where? On the banks of the Yamuna under the shade of the kadamba tree, having sweet smelling flowers decorating Their bosom. I will see that all are serving Radha Krishna Conjugal, while I wait for their order. When will that day when they will tell me, “O bring a golden glass of water, mixed with karpur, kevada, and other spices.’”
I will offer this glass to Them, and They will smile and remark, “O very good water! Very good water!”
When will this day come? This is bhajan. This is bhajan. By this we can go there, otherwise not. By worshipping and chanting for lakhs and lakhs of births without the right mood, hearing hari-katha without a melting heart, committing offenses at the feet of Vaishnavas by criticizing them. By such acts we cannot proceed an inch further even in lakhs and lakhs of births.
So we should pray like Srila Narottama Thakura, and Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura.
Again.
[The devotee continues the bhajan.]
“Sri Krishna Caitanya Prabhu dasera anudasa, seva-abhilasa kore narottama dasa.”
Srila Gurudeva: Srila Narottama das Thakura prays, “I am praying to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, I am His dasanudasa, the servant of the servant of His servant. I pray to the dust of the lotus feet of the dasanudasa of this line. Then I may be the anudasi of the anudasi. And, I will be the lotus foot dust of the last dasi. When will this day come? Without the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Nityananda Prabhu we will not have this occasion.
So pray to Nityananda Prabhu. But Nityananda Prabhu is not easily accessible. So we should pray to the followers of Nityananda Prabhu. Our Gurudeva is bona fide, Svamiji is bona fide. By his mercy we can attain the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu. And then, Rupa-Raghunatha, and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s mercy will be showered down on us. So we should try to develop our Krishna Consciousness. This is bhajan-sadhana. Sadhana is not only about managing and being worried about the day’s sustenance. There will be no problem. What is to be done will be done, we cannot check anything. So we should not be worried. A person having some detachment from this world, was about give up his family and all others, and wanted to go to Vrindavana. He was young, had children, wife, and a home. As he reached the border of the village and was on the verge of crossing it, he thought, “I am giving up my home. None are helpful to me. I do not know where I will go. I don’t know who will support, clothe, and feed me. No one in Vrindavana knows who I am. What to do?”
At once he saw a bird’s egg fall from the branch of a tree. A strong wind was blowing, and when the egg fell to the earth, it cracked open. A fledgling emerged from the egg. It had no wings to fly, nor could it see. She was about to die. She was so hungry, but her mother was not there. The baby bird was not mature and alone. The mother had flown elsewhere. She was so hungry that it seemed she would die the next moment. An insect appeared and entered the egg. It was soft and had little wings. It sat on the yolk of the egg. The insect tried to fly away, but was enmeshed within. The baby bird chirped in delight and ate the insect. She was then satisfied.
Afterwards, the mother of the bird came and saw her helpless little one. How did Krishna maintain and support her? So why will He not support and look after me? Will He not make the necessary arrangements for me? If He has given me a mouth to eat and a stomach to digest, will He not do everything for me? Indeed, He will do everything for me. So he became desperate, left his home and went on his way to Vrindavana. And he was so happy. But we think, “I will have to manage everything. If I go, who will support my children?”
He has false ego and thinks, “I am supporting and nourishing. I have given birth to the children.”
But actually, he has not done anything. He only has false ego. So we should not concern ourselves and think, “What will come today?” We should not have any problems. Who has seen tomorrow? Who knows whether we will die or be saved? So we should develop our Krishna Consciousness from whatever position we are in. So these are the teachings of our holy guru, Acharyas’ and Vaishnavas. This was the mission of Svamiji also, who took the essence of devotion to Krishna from India and our disciplic orders and came here and to all other places. So we should try to develop in our Krishna bhakti.
Don’t think, “I am alone. I will die. How to arrange?” We cannot do anything. Krishna has given us intelligence, a beautiful body, strength, good eyes etc. We are not lame or blind. We are not foolish like an ass. Krishna has mercifully given us these faculties; not anyone’s mother or father.
I see that many couples have no children, why are they unable to yield any children? They cannot do anything. Krishna arranges everything. We know that not all women have milk in their breasts. Only the mothers who have given birth have milk. How is it that a cow eats grass, and the blood in its body becomes milk? So Krishna has arranged everything. We should realize and have very strong faith on Krishna. Without this faith we cannot progress. So you will have to sing a prayer like this.
Also, we should pray to Nanda-nandana.
[Srila Gurudeva leads the devotees in singing Sri Nanda-Nandanaastakam.]
Srila Gurudeva: We should see that we are in Nanda bhavana, in Nandagaon. Krishna has turned ten years of age. He has become a kisora, and He is very beautiful. He is black and so beautiful, more than golden color. His everything is sweet, if He tells something; it is so sweet. If He looks towards anyone, it is so sweet. His dancing is sweet, His walk is sweet, His cries are sweet. His weeping is so beautiful. If He is so angry, then it is so sweet. And seeing this scene, we sing Namami Nanda nandanam.
You should see, “I am in Nanda bhavana, in the palace of Nanda and Yashoda. Krishna is there playing on His beautiful flute. Seeing me, He is smiling. All should see how beautiful Krishna is! He has a pitambar on His shoulders, and His dhoti is also pitambari (yellow in color). He has betel nuts in His mouth, and is searching for someone. He has a peacock feather adorning His head, and He is so beautiful and marvelous. If anyone sees Him, Krishna will take her heart. And never return it.
So how beautiful Krishna is! You should think, “Oh yes, Krishna is standing before me!”
So pray like this.
[Devotees continue singing Sri Nanda-Nandanaastakam.]
Krishna is standing on the bank of the Yamuna under the shade of the Kadamba tree. And He has become three folded. He is very beautiful! Stags come with their mates towards Krishna, desiring some prema, love and affection from Him.
Seeing them, Krishna tells them, “Come on, come on.”
He calls them like friends. He distributes His love and affection to all. No one returns from Krishna, no one. Even Putana cannot return. Kamsa cannot return. Krishna will take all hearts. Krishna will take your heart even if you perpetrate evil acts to Him. If we have pure devotion then He will surely take our hearts. He is an expert pickpocket.
[Laughter from audience.]
He is a very good cheater. So He will pick our pockets, take our hearts and never return them. Then you will have to cry and weep. So envisioning this beautiful scene, you should be with Krishna.
Go on.
[Devotees continue singing Sri Nanda Nandanaastakam.]
There was a beggar, he was totally blind. But he used to go to take alms. One day, with a stick in his hand, he went to a town to beg something. But being blind, he entered a courtyard. Standing before the fence, he requested, “Please give me something, please give me something.” But no answer reached his ears. So he thought, “Where have I come?” He tried to cross the fence, but he could not do so. Because the fence was 8,400,000 miles long. Many years passed, but he could not get past the fencing.
After many years passed, he reached the door. The door was three feet wide and six feet long.
When the door was about to come, he had some itches that agitated him. He thought, “Many years have passed but I have not across the door. So it is very far away.”
So taking the stick in his hand, he began to scratch his body. In the meantime, the three feet wide door went past him.
Devotees: Oh!
Srila Gurudeva: And he again began to move about for lakhs and lakhs of years and births. So we are in the same position. This world is like a fence, and we have been trapped since the world was created. Births and deaths, sorrows and sufferings, have constantly afflicted us. Now we want to go out, but some ‘scratches’ are making us some stumble. Krishna has mercifully given us the door of this human body. But if you miss this chance and go past the door, then you may become a dog, an ass, or any other animal your next life. You may even become a demigod or a demigoddess, but without this human body you cannot have this chance. So don’t lose this chance. This chance is very beautiful. So don’t be engaged in eating, drinking, and making merry. Or else we will lose our human body and lose everything. Donkeys, hogs, tigers, trees, creepers, animals, and insects cannot associate with Vaishnavas. The demigods cannot engage in sadhu-sanga because they are engrossed in sense enjoyment. In this world, those surrounded by luxuries strive hard to maintain those very luxuries, so they have no time to meet with Vaishnavas. The Vaishnava will come to his door, but he will say, “I have no time. Come back tomorrow.” Don’t lose this fortunate human body. Through the services we perform by the medium of the body, we should anyhow go to Krishna, otherwise we will lose everything.
So, it has been told in Srimad Bhagavatham.. Where is my Caitanya Caritamrta? Labdha sudurlabha idam bahu sambhavanthe…Who is speaking this shloka? Sri Sukadeva Gosvami is reciting it to Parikshit Maharaja and to the listeners in the audience. The purport of this shloka is that the human body is very auspicious and invaluable. You should at once try to devote your whole life and thus make it successful. But how will this come to pass? It will happen if you can serve Radha and Krishna. Chant Harinam and remember the pastimes of Krishna in this life. Begin from today, because you may die tomorrow. Don’t lose this chance. If you turn deaf or go blind, or die tomorrow, what will be? So don’t wait for tomorrow. You should follow Rupa-Sanatana, Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Svamiji, and our entire Guruvarga. You should not think, “I am not qualified for all these things.” Krishna has planted the seed in the heart, everything is there. Instead, you should think, “I am qualified.” How I am qualified? I am qualified because I am the son of Krishna, the beloved of Krishna, and I have anyhow come here. Though I have committed many offenses, I am qualified to serve Him. He is my beloved, master, friend, and son. We have the potentiality of everything in a seed like form, so we are qualified for this. The lack of sat-sang is the only shortcoming. If you hanker to Krishna for sadhu-sanga—the association of bona fide Vaishnavas, He will surely manage everything. Without any reason, out of His causeless mercy, Krishna sent sants (saints) like Svamiji, like Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Srila Prabhupada to this world.
So I think He will also help us and manage to give further sadhu-sanga. So we should try for this. What can we do? We can do something, but how? We should try like a child. If he will begin to cry and weep, father, mother, and the whole family will come there.
All will collectively ask the child, “What do you want? What do you want?” But the child is only crying and weeping. To pacify the child, they will give him a toy. But the child will take and throw it away. Then if the mother will give anything more like sweets, the child will just throw it away.
Then the mother will think, “He wants my breast milk.” Then he will suckle on his mother’s breast with the utmost delight. The mother kisses her son and with tear-filled eyes thinks, “Oh how beautiful my boy is!” We should cry like this.
We should cry out, “Oh Krishna! Oh Srimati Radhika!”
“You want to give me salvation?” Then we will express our discontent, like the child who threw away the toy. [Laughter from audience.]
If He wants to give you the service of Lakshmi-Narayana,? Oh! Then you should throw it away like the toy.
Krishna may entice you, “Oh come on, come on! I will make you My beloved like Rukmini.”
“I don’t want.” And we will continue crying and weeping.
Krishna will say, “Be My friend.”
Crying and weeping, we will say, “No.”
“You want to be My father and mother?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
Krishna is also weeping and waiting for our reply. He will ask us, “Oh you want to be the servant of the maidservant of My beloved Srimati Radhika?”
“Yes, Yes I want that service.”
Then He takes and gives this milk, otherwise He will not give. This is priceless. He wants to give many things, but if you want nothing, remain one-pointed and stay fixed, “I want this and nothing else. I will throw and give everything up.” Then Krishna will give us this precious, valuable benediction; otherwise not.
So, two considerations are there—Yashoda is binding Krishna and His waist is very slender—only twelve fingers long. Yashoda has decorated Krishna’s waist with a golden chain. Yashoda tried binding Krishna with many ropes, which extended for miles and miles. But this chain of ropes could not encircle Krishna even once. Krishna’s waist was small and thin, while the rope went longer and longer; in a bid to encircle His waist. At that time, all the friends of Yashoda Ma were clapping and mocking in unison, “O you cannot tie your own son?”
On being teased, Yashoda’s face became reddish. The colors of yellow and white also flashed on her face. She became so ashamed that her friends were clapping and teasing her, “Oh you cannot tie your son who has come from your own womb?”
She then prayed to her household deity—Salagrama Thakura, Narayana.
“O Narayana, I have worshipped You for many years. All are clapping and laughing, so save me. Why can’t I tie my own child?”
Praying thus, Yashoda was weeping. Then Krishna thought, “My mother is making many efforts and pearls of sweat are rolling down her face. Her braid has been untied and the flowers have been scattered. Her face has become reddish and changing colors.”
So Krishna saw the effort of Yashoda and He became so merciful. She took a woolen rope and finally bound Krishna. Krishna’s waist became little, Yogamaya vanished and He was bound at once. He was bound by Yashoda’s love and affection and not by a rope. No one can tie Krishna, nor was He ever bound before. So there are two considerations—our efforts should be so sincere and secondly, the mercy of Krishna. If Krishna sees our sincere efforts, He will surely be merciful and His maya will come. At that time, while being bound, Krishna was thinking, “Oh if My mother ties Me, I cannot play with my friends. Cows are mooing, because they cannot give milk without Krishna. Their calves were there but …
[Break of audio.]
So Yogamaya came at once and performed this wonderful pastime. Krishna remained the same while the rope went longer and longer. The rope went on for miles and miles but it was always two fingers short. Another measure of rope was taken and joined; but the same thing happened again. Why was the rope two fingers short? How does it apply to the sadhakas?
We don’t perform sincere efforts for Krishna, unlike Yashoda Ma. Seeing our efforts, Krishna’s heart will melt. Krishna saw Yashoda Ma’s efforts— how beads of sweat were rolling down her face, and how nervous she was. She had taken a vow, “I will take water only when I bind Krishna. I am ready to undergo hundreds and thousands of births to bind Krishna. But I will have to bind. I will never give this endeavor up.” So she began to try again and again, Krishna became merciful at once and His heart melted. So we should engage in performing the same efforts in our sadhana-bhajana. We should resolve, “I will not take water; I will not take anything, until I chant half a lakh (32 rounds) of Harinama in one sitting during the morning. After that, I will complete all my services and finish the remaining 32 rounds during the day or the night. And then I will take anything. I will have to do this even if I have no taste. I will offer my dandavat pranamas 1,008 times, but to whom? To all the pastime places of Krishna, to Yashoda Ma, Nanda baba, Lalitha, Vishaka, Chitra, Champalaka, Rupa-manjari, Rati-manjari, Nandagaon, Varsana, Radha kunda, Shyama kunda, Kusuma sarovara, Manasa ganga, Pavana sarovara, and to all these pastime places. I will offer my dandavat pranamas 1,008 times. I will hear some katha from my bona fide Guru and Vaishnavas. So performing these limbs of devotion and following Rupa-Sanatana, who made no efforts to secure clothing and other necessities…Krishna is supporting all, so will He leave me alone by myself? He will arrange everything. So have strong faith like Rupa-Sanatana.
Sankhya purvaka nama gana natabhi kala vasani…
Perform bhajan like this, being in Vrindavana. Where? Sometimes near Govardhana, sometimes in Nandagaon, sometimes in Radha kunda.
Radha kunda tate kalindi tanaya…
Svamiji Maharaja used to sing this kirtan beautifully with tears in his eyes. Those who heard him sing, and those, who to this day listen to him sing from the tape recording, will see how beautifully and coupled with a pathetic, melodious tune he sung.
So we should try to do all these things.
Radha kunda tate kalindi tanaya…he radhe he vraja devike…
This is called Krishna Consciousness, and this is sadhana and bhajana. I know that only very rare, rare devotees can follow this process. And if you will not follow this process, you cannot go to Vraja. Having many worldly desires and all its concomitant elements, we cannot go to Vraja. We may in householder life; no harm. But situated in that social stratum, we can do all these things. Srivasa Pandit, Raya Ramananda, were all householders. All the Gopis were householders; no harm. But we should try to follow the process. Then our bhakti will grow.
What is the time?
Devotee: 8:45, Gurudeva.
Srila Gurudeva: So you should try to follow. I wished to explain what I began. But I think that we will have to come again and explain.
Devotees: Haribol!
Srila Gurudeva: If you will pray to Krishna sincerely, He may call me. You know that I am like a beggar, having nothing; roaming here and there. I am only cheating all others.
[Laughter from audience.]
So if He will arrange, I may come and help you in this way. I don’t know harikatha, I cannot do all these things. I am unable to do, I am unqualified. I only know that all the things I am telling to you all.. I cannot worship, I cannot do archana, I cannot sing so much. I cannot do tyaga (austerities) and vairagya (renunciation). I am not a vairagi, I have no qualifications. The only qualification I have is this—speak some harikatha. And I want to recite all these pastimes, to remember all these pastimes. So, you should all know that I am so glad to meet you and to have been here for five days. You may have realized that I am the servant of Svamiji, having no opposite mood towards him. I cannot have an opposite towards him. So you should think of me as a servant of Svamiji, and you should also help me. If you to pray to Krishna for me, then He will be merciful to me. Because you are all bona fide Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis.
Gaura Premanande! Hari Haribol!
I will never forget you all. When I go to Mathura Vrindavana, I will remember that I had gone to Badger and I was in the home of Nirguna Prabhu. His wife, children, all friends, their wives and children met me. Very beautiful classes were arranged and they have much honor for me that I cannot forget them. But please, you should all not forget me also.
Nirguna Prabhu: Hare Krishna Maharaja, thank you for coming for these five days, it has been so beautiful. It has transformed my home into an atmosphere of Vrindavana. I take the dust of your feet on my head over and over again. It has been so wonderful with all your disciples. I like to give special thanks to all the mathas’ who have cooked for all the devotees.
Srila Gurudeva: Certainly.
Nirguna Prabhu: I would like to say, “I take the dust of all your feet on my head. I am eternally indebted to you all. Thank you so much.
Devotees: Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
[Srila Gurudeva leads the Hare Krishna maha-mantra kirtan.]
[Transcribed by the Bhaktabandhav Team]