12 May 1996 Den Haag
What Do You Want?
[Hari-katha spoken by Nitya Lila Pravista Om Visnupada Astottara Sata Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja Srila Gurudeva]
Srila Gurudeva: Krishna began to lick His fingers and tried to take them in their hearts. The Gopas who protected the older cows while they grazed, were so angry with their boys. They thought, “I will go there and give a good slap to my son.” But when they descended to the lower plain and approached their little boys, the sight of the little boys who were none other than Krishna Himself, soothed their anger and the love for their children reached its zenith. Kissing and holding their boys in a tight embrace, they began to weep. Baladeva Prabhu watched everything as it happened. He told Krishna, “Krishna, I see that You Yourself are all the calves and cowherd boys! I would wonder when I thought that the milk from Mother Yasoda’s breast wasn’t enough for You, so You would take milk from the other gopis. But what I see now far exceeds My wonder— being dissatisfied, You have become all the cowherd boys and drink milk from many mothers! Possessing an insatiable appetite, You weren’t satisfied. So, You have become millions of calves to drink the milk from the udders of millions of cows. Whose maya is at play here? I see that Your Yogamaya is orchestrating everything. It is not the maya of Brahma. Oh I am astonished to see this wondrous sight!”
Listening to Baladeva Prabhu speak, Krishna smiled for Baladeva Prabhu knew everything.
In the midst of Sri Rupa and Sanatana Gosvami’s discussion, Srila Rupa Gosvami said, “These pastimes are so powerful! If anyone listens to these pastimes of Krishna, Krishna will enter their hearts through the media of the ear and eye. Consequently, all offenses, and anarthas will be cleared. The heart will be so immaculately clean, soft, and sweet that Krishna will make His residence there.” It has been written in Srimad Bhagavatham that those who have no taste in listening to the pastimes of Krishna are not devotees. You must listen to the pastimes of Krishna in the association of good, rasik Vaisnavas. If such association is not found, still; the madhyama-adhikaris should discuss the pastimes of Krishna among themselves and chant, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” This is the message of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
tasmin mahan-mukharita madhubhic-caritra-
piyusa-sesa-saritah paritah sravanti
ta ye pibanty avitrso nrpa gadha-karnais
tan na sprsanty asana-trd-bhaya-soka-mohah
–Srimad Bhagavatam 4.29.40
[“My dear King, in the place where pure devotees live, following the rules and regulations and thus purely conscious and engaged with great eagerness in hearing and chanting the glories of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, in that place if one gets a chance to hear their constant flow of nectar, which is exactly like the waves of a river, one will forget the necessities of life – namely hunger and thirst – and become immune to all kinds of fear, lamentation and illusion.”]
The current of the nectarean ocean of hari-katha always flows in the association of these kind of Vaisnavas. What to speak of a drop, if we imbibe even a sprinkle of this hari-katha, our lives will be successful. We pray to Krishna that He should mercifully give us this kind of association, by which our bhakti will be developed. We have not come to be situated in the same stage of bhakti for a century or half. In a river, by the force of the swift current, the water we have taken bath in a second before, will not remain the same. Similarly, the days are passing, not waiting a moment for us. Time is always on the move. So, bhakti is also like a current. Our bhakti should always develop and flourish in the association of high class, uttama Vaisnavas. The association of Vaisnavas should be of a higher quality of bhakti and superior to you. Your bhakti will not advance if you are in the same stage of bhakti for years on end. So Srila Rupa Gosvami has told us to strive for the association of a bonafide Vaishnava more advanced than ourselves. By the strength of this association, you will advance in bhakti. Otherwise, the current of bhakti will be checked and the flow of bhakti will subsequently dry. I foresee this happening in the lives of some devotees. Some devotees don’t want the association of a bonafide Vaisnava. They close their door and in turn tell others, “Don’t go to that Vaisnava.” The Vaisnava may be a madhyama or uttama-adhikari. Their self-interest is the driving force behind their actions. But by these actions, they are losing all devotional merit. They should not fear bona fide Vaisnava association. I pray to Krishna and their Gurudeva who is also my beloved Siksha Gurudeva, that they be causelessly merciful to them. By the bestowal of this unfathomable mercy, all inappropriate tendencies will be driven away from their hearts. They should try to be in good association and in the shelter of that association they should chant, remember and engage in the five primary limbs of devotion—sadhu-sanga, Mathura-vasa, sri murtira shradhaya sevana, bhagavat shravana, and nama-sankirtana.
I wanted to speak on many more tattva-siddhantas, but I will end my discourse here. We will meet again, and I will try to give the message of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and the message of Svamiji, by which your honor for him will develop. I will strengthen your relationship and honor for your own Gurudeva. By this process, devotion for Sri Radha-Krishna, and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu will also increase. So Krishna should be merciful to them and make them liberal. They should also hear and follow the message of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and our Guruvarga.
Try to honor each other. If a person chanting harinama is a kanista vaisnava, the madhyama adhikari should give him much honor. They should give honor to each other and to especially the Vaisnavas who are in a higher stage of devotion than them. These Vaisnavas must be given much honor and if you are not doing so, your bhakti, your shraddha, and everything will be ruined. Try to honor all Vaisnavas who are chanting harinama. There may be some faults and offenses on the part of certain Vaisnavas, but if they have honor for Krishna, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, then they must be embraced.
You should try to honor all Vaisnavas who are following the path of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and are chanting, “Haribol! Haribol!”
[Srila Gurudeva and the devotees in unison]
Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
[After a short break, a question and answer session begins]
Devotee: To what tattva does Rupa-manjari belong; jiva tattva?
Srila Gurudeva: No, she doesn’t belong to jiva-tattva. She is the kaya-vyuha expansion of Srimati Radhika Herself. Eight gopis and manjaris are the kaya-vyuha expansions of Srimati Radhika. Sridhama, Sudhama, and some sakhas are the kaya-vyuha expansions of Baladeva Prabhu. There are some sadhana-siddha jivas (souls perfected by devotional practices) like the personified Vedas who are collectively called sruti-caris. The rsis and munis (saints and ascetics) of Dandakaranya forest who were engaged in raganuga-bhajan in the footsteps of the gopis, are also called sadhana-siddhas. Srimati Rupa-manjari is not a sadhana-siddha. If we engage in raganuga bhakti under guidance, our devotional practices will mature and we will attain the shelter of the Rupa-manjari, Rati-manjari, and the other gopis, who are the kaya-vyuha expansions of Srimati Radhika. You should engage in bhajan, and serve the Vaisnavas who are superior to you. By always engaging yourself in the worship of Sri Radha-Krishna, you will gradually know all these realities. But at your present stage of bhakti, you will not realize all these subtle differences. Later on, you will realize everything if you will not give up this process of devotion. But you will not realize by your own efforts, only by the mercy of a pure Vaisnava, will you realize the different features of the realm of devotion.
Haribol!
Devotees: Haribol!
Srila Gurudeva: If the devotees have no monetary problems, they should come to Vrindavana during the Kartika month.
Devotees: Jaya!
Srila Gurudeva: We will manage to show the all the pastime places of Vraja mandala.
Devotees: Haribol!
[Break of audio]
Srila Gurudeva: I honor even a dog related to Svamiji, what to speak of devotees? If anyone has a relation with Svamiji in any respect, whether he is a senior devotee, junior devotee, or the great-grand disciple of Svamiji, yet, he is honorable for me. I want to honor all.
[Break of audio]
[Class begins]
Srila Gurudeva: Previously, I told you all that we are the servants of Krishna.
jivera ‘svarupa’ haya–krsnera ‘nitya-dasa’
krsnera ‘tatastha-sakti’ ‘bhedabheda-prakasa
–Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Madhya 20.108
[It is the living entity’s constitutional position to be an eternal servant of Krsna because he is the marginal energy of Krsna and a manifestation simultaneously one and different from the Lord.]
All are the servants of Krishna, regardless of anyone’s admittance. But if you have the desire for sense gratification, you are free to act according to your discretion, because, as Krishna is free, you are also free. But you will have to utilize your independence properly; otherwise you will go to hell and stay enmeshed in the ocean of repeated birth and death. Krishna never forgets us, whether we remember Him or not. If some souls serve Krishna, He is so happy and so are the souls serving Him. But, Krishna is so anxious for those souls that have forgotten Him and being ensnared by illusory maya, have come to this world. Krishna is exceedingly worried for them.
To deliver these conditioned souls, Krishna descends to this world with His entourage. Sometimes, He sends one of His associates to this world. Sometimes, He sends His expansions like Lord Rama, Nrsingha, Vamana and others to this world. Occasionally, He sends one of the sadhaka-siddha jivas who serve in Vaikunta, who are the energy of Krishna. They come as an Acharya (preceptor), as an Uttama-mahabhagavat. Narada, Vyasa, Sukadeva Gosvami, and Hanuman are examples of such Uttama-mahabhagavats. They are not conditioned souls. And even if the conditioned souls are not coming towards Krishna, then Krishna Himself comes with Srimati Radhika, Lalita, Visaka, Subal, Sridhama, Sudhama, Nanda-Yasoda, and all of His associates. He wants to attract all conditioned souls by manifesting the sweet pastimes He engages in, with His associates. He even attracts the souls present in the creepers, trees, mountains, rivers, and insects like ants. If they are not attracted to Krishna despite Krishna’s endeavors, then Krishna takes the mood of Srimati Radhika. And He descends to this world with all His parikaras(associates). The parikaras of Rama, Narsingha, Vamana, Kurma, Narayana, and other expansions also aid His cause by descending alongside Him. Krishna also descends with His expansions like Rama, Narayana, Narsingha, Vamana, who are situated inside Him. The devotees’ of these expansions like Jaya-Vijaya, Prahlada Maharaja, Brahma, Sridhama-Subala, indeed, all of His associates descend with Him. Krishna is accompanied by not only His Goloka-Vrindavana associates; the associates in the different regions of the spiritual sky also accompany Him.
When Krishna descends with the mood of Srimati Radhika, Srimati Radhika also descends; but in male form. Following in the footsteps of Srimati Radhika, all the gopis also descend in male forms. The sakhas also descend. Jaya-Vijaya also come from Narayana-dhama, Vaikunta-dhama because their Prabhu is within Krishna. Narsinghadeva is also within Krishna, so Prahlada Maharaja also descends in the form of Srila Haridas Thakura. Hanuman also descends in the form of Sri Murari Gupta, because his Prabhu—Rama is also included within Krishna. So the entire spiritual realm descends here.
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu manifests such heart-rending pastimes wherein He goes everywhere, delivering everyone without wearing any shoes, or holding an umbrella, with nothing in His possession. Weeping and weeping, Mahaprabhu prays, “Krishna! Krishna! Where is Krishna? Where is Lalita?” Mahaprabhu would call out to them this way.
he radhe vraja-devike ca lalite he nanda-suno kutah
sri-govardhana-kalpa-padapa-tale kalindi-vane kutah
ghosantav iti sarvato vraja-pure khedair maha-vihvalau
vande rupa-sanatanau raghu-yugau sri-jiva-gopalakau
—Sri Sadgosvamyastakam 8
[I offer my respectful obeisances unto the six Gosvamis, namely Sri Rupa Gosvami, Sri Sanatana Gosvami, Sri Raghunatha Bhatta Gosvami, Sri Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, Sri Jiva Gosvami, and Sri Gopala Bhatta Gosvami, who were chanting very loudly everywhere in Vrndavana, shouting, “Queen of Vrndavana, Radharani! O Lalita! O son of Nanda Maharaja! Where are you all now? Are you just on the hill of Govardhana, or are you under the trees on the bank of the Yamuna? Where are you?” These were their moods in executing Krsna consciousness.]
With tears in His eyes, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would always cry out, “Where is Vrindavana? Where should I go? Where will I have Krishna? Without Krishna, I cannot live! What should I do?” Crying out this way, Mahaprabhu would roll on the earth. At that time—grass, mountain, trees, deer, cows, children, old people, young people, anyone who would see Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu in that condition would continuously weep.
[Break of audio]
Srila Gurudeva: . . .those who are against Krishna become sanmuka (favorable). Those who are favorable have much more shraddha. If they have some shraddha, that shraddha will mature and ripen to nista. And those who have nista will find themselves relishing the stage of ruci. Those situated in ruci, will find their bhakti blossoming into asakti. And those in asakti will surely have bhava. Those who have bhava, will be in prakata lila playing with Krishna. They will go to Vraja and have themselves manifested from the wombs of the gopis. There is no material birth there, nor is there death. The souls there are infallible like Krishna. But they will be of the conception, “I have come from the womb of a gopi.” The manifestation of this conception is the role of Yogamaya. There is no marriage, but everyone thinks, “Krishna is my beloved.” This is the part of Yogamaya. She plays a very good role there.
Thus, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is more liberal than Krishna. Why is He more liberal? Krishna is liberal, and Srimati Radhika is more liberal. Krishna becomes Mahaprabhu after having taken the mood and luster of Srimati Radhika, so Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu being a combined manifestation of Srimati Radhika and Krishna becomes more liberal. Do you understand? So Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is most liberal. In Srimad Bhagavad Gita, it has been told:
ye yatha mam prapadyante
tams tathaiva bhajamy aham
–Sri Bhagavad Gita 4.11
[All of them-as they surrender unto Me-I reward accordingly.]
Krishna states, “I have a balance scale, where I equally reciprocate with those who serve Me. If anyone gives Me a pence or a farthing, I will give them prema of one farthing; not more, not less. His balance scale is extremely accurate. Krishna will wait and give what the recipient deserves. But Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu does not wait to see if the recipient is deserving or undeserving. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu doesn’t consider if the conditioned souls have shraddha or not, if they have any love and affection for Krishna, or whether they are unmukha (favorable) or vimukha (unfavorable). In spite of their present circumstances, if they will come towards Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and if Mahaprabhu will see them, He will immediately bestow prema to them, not waiting for a moment.
Krishna will tell, “Bring a pot. I will wait and give prema according to your shraddha.”
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu will never say like this. He will say, “Come on, come on! I will give you prema, whether you have a pot or not. My shop has many pots also and I will give you a pot. I will give you prema whether you have shraddha or not.” Mahaprabhu gave this prema to tigers, snakes, trees, mad elephants, and other beings. After receiving this prema, those mad elephants and other animals chanted, “Haribol! Haribol!”
Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
So, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is so generous. It is a matter of great regret that despite only five hundred years having passed since the advent of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, you still haven’t received that prema. At the time of Krishna’s descent, you were there, although I don’t know in which form you were there. But certainly you were there. You were also present during the time of Ramachandra, but even so, you were deprived of the grace of Ramachandra, Krishna, and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. You were there, but in spite of your physical presence, you were not touched by the dust of the lotus feet of Ramachandra, Krishna, or Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
On the other hand, you are so lucky, because only five hundred years have passed since Mahaprabhu’s advent. That line or disciplic order of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, comprising of rasik and tattva-vit Vaisnavas (who know the tattva of Krishna, bhakti, and other facets of devotion) is to this day—not ruined. That disciplic order stands untainted and unblemished. But we cannot tell if the order will be ruined or not as time sets in, because many so-called gurus, teachers, and pretending preachers are coming. It seems that they will destroy the line, but I think that the line can never be destroyed. Any real Vaisnava of this world will always protect the line.
So, you are all so lucky and have many pious activities to your credit because you have taken the dust of Srila Bhaktivedanta Svamiji. Some devotees were very fortunate to have been directly initiated by him. We have all been initiated by devotees who are in the line of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura, and Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. These personalities are very exalted and not of this world. They have come from there—from Krishna. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura is Kamala-manjari and Srila Prabhupada Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura is Nayan mani-manjari. Sri Radha and Krishna sent them here to preach. So, we are very lucky and fortunate, that we are in this line. Make the best use of this opportunity given to you, especially in this life where you have many benefits—like having a good, healthy body not stricken by manifold diseases. You also have the association of good, sincere Vaisnavas. Situated in this boat of the human body, the favorable winds of Vaisnava association will impel you forward. Without these winds, you cannot go forward. And Gurudeva is the captain of this boat. He gives directions and steers the boat away from dangerous, murky waters. He will tell you where to go and where not to go. Krishna’s mercy is the favorable winds, and this mercy is the association of good Vaisnavas.
[Srila Gurudeva addresses the audience]
Do any of you want money? Who wants money? We only want Krishna-prema, not any worldly possessions like money and so forth.
Who wants to go to heaven? If anyone wants to go to heaven, they will be deprived of the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Because they will have to come down to this earthly realm again, in the form of she-hogs, animals, trees, and other beings. Svamiji, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and the Srimad Bhagavatham have stated these universal truths. At the cost of forsaking harinama, don’t ever accept worldly things. Don’t use harinama to gain worldly things, or to gain entrance into heaven, and Vaikunta. Entrance into Vaikunta is also not to be aspired for. We don’t want Vaikunta, because Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has taught us as such. Do any of the devotees want salvation? We consider salvation to be hellish. But the whole world, indeed, everyone is mad after salvation. They want to be like a stone. To aspire for salvation means to aspire to become a stone. Nothing is obtained by cutting the stone into pieces, throwing it in water, or offering it in nectar. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has taught us that salvation is like a detestable commodity of this world. So we don’t want this.
Do you want entrance into Vaikunta and serve Narayana there like Jaya-Vijaya? In South India, the residents there are mad for this benediction. But if Krishna were to tell you, “Do you want Vaikunta?”
You should reply, “No Prabhu, I don’t want.”
“You want to be the maidservant of Rukmini?”
Being the maidservant of Rukmini is an elevated status. To know all these different gradations, you must consider Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to be the root of all expansions and incarnations. He came to give the highest benediction—Vraja-prema. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu told and taught us all these confidentialities of the spiritual realms in His dialog with Sri Raya Ramananda Prabhu. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu also clearly enunciated on these principles in his teachings to Srila Rupa Gosvami and Srila Sanatana Gosvami. We are lucky to be in this line and to listen to who Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is and what He came to give. So we are lucky.
In this human form of life, having a guru like Srila Svamiji, Srila Bhakti Prajnana Kesava Gosvami Maharaja, Srila Gaura Govinda Maharaja, Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhara Gosvami Maharaja, having a guru like…
Devotee: Like yourself.
Srila Gurudeva: No, no.
[Laughter]
Srila Gurudeva: I am not a guru, having a guru like Srila Puri Maharaja, Srila Sridhara Maharaja… So we are so lucky to have been initiated by such personalities and to have come in this line. So our luck is inestimable! If you will fall…
Devotees: Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
Srila Gurudeva: Can I give an example for this? If you are not serving Krishna in this life and you are not developing your bhakti, what will become of you? I will give a simple example to elucidate on this.
There was a blind beggar; those who are not serving Krishna, not chanting His names, all such people are blind and foolish. I am not telling this, this has been stated in Srimad Bhagavatham and all other scriptures. With the aid of a stick, the blind beggar went on his way to beg something.
On reaching the doorstep of a household, he said, “Oh mother, give me something. Help me, help me!” He would go to the precincts of many houses and shout like this. One day, while he was on the streets, he reached a door, which was three feet high and one foot wide. He entered this door and began to say, “Oh mother, give me something. Help me! Help me!” As he entered the inner chambers, he came across a towering wall. He thought, “There must be a person standing here. So I should go on.” Holding the stick in one hand, and placing the other hand on the wall, he proceeded on his way. Lakhs and lakhs of years passed as he tried to find his way through the maze, but he still couldn’t find the exit. There was no one to lend a helping hand. He thought, “I should by any means emerge out of this barricade.” The wall was eighty four lakh miles long.
What is this eighty four lakh mile wall? It is the eighty four lakh species of life in which you will have to go. Only in the human form of life can you get out, and not in any other form of life. So, he was helplessly treading the path, hoping to find an exit route. When eighty four lakh years passed, he fortunately came across the exit route. In a bid to get out, he quickly reached the doorstep. But on reaching it, he started to scratch his head. A mosquito bit him while he contemplated on what to do.
He contemplated, “For many years I haven’t found the exit door, so why will I come across it now?” Thinking as such, he avoided the door. On sensing the presence of the wall, he again turned around and went in circles.
So, at this critical juncture, you have come in front of the door. The door is the human form of life. Gurudeva repeatedly tells you, “The door is right in front of you! Open it and get out.” But we don’t want to listen to him. You should know that if you miss the opportunity in this human form of life; then you will miss it forever. And you will have to undergo the rigors of repeated birth and death in many forms of lives. You should be firmly determined (drda sankalpa) and think, “In this life, I have taken the shelter of a very qualified guru and I also have the priceless association of Vaisnavas to benefit from. So I should go out of this world.” But, if you don’t wish to act this way and are rather interested in cheating others, then—you will cheat yourself.
You cannot cheat Krishna. You may chant, “Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, give me a horse.”
[Laughter]
“O Krishna, give me a horse.” The person was very tired so he asked for a horse. Assenting to his request, Krishna gave him a horse. Unbeknownst to the unassuming person, the horse was pregnant. He was immensely happy to have the horse and wanted to ride on it. This way he thought of reaching his destination. But just as he proceeded to mount the sea horse, it gave birth to a foal. The horse was unable to move, so he had to take the foal on his shoulders. Do you understand?
He wanted to ride on a horse, but instead, the horse rode on him. Then he thought, “O Krishna, why did You give me this horse?”
[Laughter]
Similarly, this is your condition. By chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, we pray to Gurudeva and Krishna, “O Krishna, give me wealth. Give me a house furnished with all luxuries.” And Krishna relents to these requests. But when the recipient dies, he leaves everything behind. He cannot take a strand of hair. He begins to weep at his misfortune, but he has lost his chance. So, try to never cheat others. Don’t try to cheat them by siphoning money from them. Try to develop pure bhakti in this human form of life where you have the priceless shelter and association of a bonafide guru and Vaisnavas. Don’t aspire for silly things, they will ruin your life and take you to hell. For maintaining our lives, we only need a little wealth. We don’t need immense wealth, otherwise you will have mamata (possessiveness) to that wealth. If you are attached to wealth, you will be like Bharatha Maharaja, who was excessively attached to the deer. Keeping two, three dogs at home, if you always remember them, you will become a dog your next life. Don’t attach yourself to any worldly things. Try to attach your mind, heart, and soul to Krishna and His associates.
Always chant, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” Some devotees ask me, “What should we remember when we chant? What should we think? How to chant?” Gurudeva, Vaisnavas, and Caitanya Mahaprabhu, tell us to always remember Krishna. You are all well aware of this. When you chant, cry for Krishna, “O Krishna, I want Your darsana. I want to serve You by my soul. But I haven’t realized my identity as spirit soul—a part and parcel of You. I want to have a relation with You. But that relationship is not being manifested. I don’t want my mind to be absorbed in worldly things, but it is absorbed anyway, owing to its uncontrolled nature.”
“O Hare Krishna! You are Srimati Radhika and Krishna Themselves. Krishna You are Hari, in no time as if by magic, You can steal my heart. Please give me energy and power. Make me a beneficiary of Your unconditional mercy. I am so fallen!”
kalah kalir balina indriya-vairi-vargah
sri bhakti-marga iha kantaka-koti-ruddhah
ha ha kva yami vikalah kim aham karomi
caitanyacandra yadi nadya krpam karosi
–Sri Caitanya-candramrta 125, Srila Prabhodananda Sarasvati Thakura
[“Now it is the age of Kali. My enemies, the senses, are very strong. The beautiful path of bhakti is spiked with countless thorns (like karma, jnana, and unrestricted sense enjoyment). My spirit is weak. My senses are powerful and agitated. O what shall I do? Where shall I go? O Lord Caitanya-candra, if you do not grant me Your mercy, what shall I do to save myself?”]
A sadhaka, sincere devotee, will pray to Krishna and Caitanya Mahaprabhu, “O how wonderfully merciful You are! You are so liberal! You never consider a devotee’s qualification. You are so liberal! You never consider a devotee’s qualification. You only consider, ‘Oh my devotee calls for Me.’”
Kalah kalir—it is kali kala, the age of kali. “Kali,” means kalaham lathi iti kali—the age of quarrel. This age represents the tendency to quarrel. Husband, wife, children, neighbors, and countries, are always fighting with each other. I think a war is being fought as of now among the neighboring countries. Everyone’s quarreling, and many obstacles present themselves in our bhajan. If a lady wants to engage in bhajan, her husband will oppose her. If a father wants to engage in bhajan, his children and other members of society will oppose him. You may want to do bhajan, but your mind will not permit. The mind will tell you, “You should go here and there.”
Pray, “This is a very hard, testing time. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, please be merciful to me and let me continuously engage in chanting Harinama with tears in my eyes.”
nayanam galad-asru-dharaya
vadanam gadgada-ruddhaya gira
pulakair nicitam vapuh kada
tava nama-grahane bhavisyati
–Sri Caitanya-caritamrita Antya 20.36
[‘My dear Lord, when will My eyes be beautified by filling with tears that constantly glide down as I chant Your holy name? When will My voice falter and all the hairs on My body stand erect in transcendental happiness as I chant Your holy name?’]
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu weeps and calls out, “O Krishna! O Krishna!” Mahaprabhu doesn’t think of Himself as Krishna. Then who is He? He is Radha. He expresses His sentiments in this shloka as a devotee. Nayanam galad asru dharaya—when will a day come when I will chant Hare Krishna with tears cascading from my eyes. Tears will flow in unobstructed streams.
Sometimes Mahaprabhu rolls on the floor, and prays, “When will a day come when I will fall, and roll on the earth as I chant Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna? The hairs on My body will stand erect in ecstasy.” When Mahaprabhu would chant, His voice would choke, and He would utter, “Ja Ja, Ga Ga,” but not Jagannatha. Mahaprabhu would also chant Hare Krishna in a deep, resonant voice filled with longing and separation. When will such a day come? You should chant like this. If you are chanting and your uncooperative mind wanders here and there, then you can go to Govardhana. Have all of you seen the mountain, Sri Giriraja Govardhana? Those who have not seen Govardhana, must have at least heard the name Sri Giriraja Govardhana. He is a manifestation of Krishna, and he is so superior, he is a maha-bhagavat. By mind, sitting here, offer pranamas to Govardhana, to Dana-ghati. Take a bath in Yamuna. Going to Vraja, offer your sastang dandavat pranamas, and weep bitterly.
What happened at Dana-ghati? Here, Krishna took dana (charity) from the gopis. What was that dana? There is a very beautiful pastime behind this charity. While doing parikrama (circumambulation) of Sri Giriraja Govardhana, you should weep from the core of your heart.
Sripada Madhava Maharaja: Fifty-five minutes have passed.
Srila Gurudeva: Fifty five minutes have passed? I thought I hadn’t spoken for even a minute, rather, I thought I was readying myself to start the class. So, engage in bhajan like this. You should go to parikrama of Vrindavana, and Navadvipa- dhama. You can do parikrama of Puri- dhama, but it is better, if you are doing Vraja mandala parikrama. On parikrama, you should see Govardhana, Yamuna, Bhandiravana, and other pastime- places. Weep and pray all the while. This will increase your devotion.
If Krishna comes and asks you, “What do you want?”
Don’t ask for a service that is less than the highest service. What is the highest service? What is our goal, prema- prayojana?
Krishna will ask, “Do you want the prema of Kubja?”
“We don’t want the prema of Kubja.”
“Do you want the prema of Subala- Sridhama?”
“We will offer our pranamas (obeisance) to that prema.”
“What do you like? Do you want to be My beloved?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Padabjayos taba vina…dasyayati namo stu stu satyam.”
“Krishna, if You are pleased by my services and want to offer me a benediction, then this is the benediction I seek—I want to serve the foot dust of the lotus feet of Srimati Radhika. There is nothing more I seek.”
All of you are most fortunate to come in this line. Don’t give up. Be energetic and try to develop your bhakti with the aid of enthusiastic endeavors. You should earn because you are grhastas (householders), you should. But don’t be completely engaged and immersed in only those efforts. Money is needed only to maintain our lives, but it is not the object of our lives. The aim and object of our lives is to cultivate the topmost prema to Krishna. In this life, you should surely have this. Otherwise, you will have to suffer in eighty four lakh species of life.
Promise to yourself that you will leave all kinds of worldly desires behind. Also, discard anger, lust, and the tendency to commit offenses. Have tolerance, if anyone rebukes you, tolerate like a tree. Or else, time will be wasted in quarrelling. We have no time to quarrel. We should go straight and forward in our devotional endeavors, only desiring that benediction from Krishna, which I stated earlier. Thus, lead a life of an easy living and moving. If you want that objective of Krishna prema, you should respect your senior Vaisnavas. And the senior Vaisnavas should also give love and affection to the juniors and to those who engaged in hari-kirtana, chant, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.”
Vrajanatha Prabhu: Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
Srila Gurudeva: My basket has many ambrosial fruits of harikatha that I wish to speak on. But I cannot, for it seems that an hour of harikatha is spoken—in a second. I am helpless. We will try to arrange for another class of harikatha. I am also here tomorrow. I am so loved by all the good devotees here. After I leave, I desire that all the devotees try to meet every seven or fifteen days. You should decide among yourselves as to how often you can meet. In your assembly, there should be no consideration of caste and creed. Anyone who chants the holy name should be thought of as a friend who is in the line of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Honor each other, honor devotees like Tirthakara Prabhu, and all the other devotees who reside in different regions. I am also so fortunate to have come here, to Holland and met you all. I have witnessed how many devotees are chanting the Hare Krishna maha- mantra with so much love and affection, though situated in countries, which are continents apart from India.
I am so glad to come here.
Sripada Madhava Maharaja: On your visit, Holland turns into Holy- land.
[Laughter]
Srila Gurudeva: Now it is holy- land!
Gaura Premanande! Haribol!
[Transcribed by the Bhaktabandhav Team]