14 May 1996 Den Haag
The Summit Of Selfless Love
[Hari-katha spoken by Nitya Lila Pravista Om Visnupada Astottara Sata Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja – Srila Gurudeva]
To listen to the audio file of this class, please click on these links:
Srila Gurudeva: . . .if you promise, “I will never practice what my Gurudeva has not bought and told.” This promise signifies that that you have not completely understood your Gurudeva’s mood. Your Gurudeva has never said, “You should be strict in only chanting sixteen rounds.” This instruction is for beginners. So, in a step by step manner, you should advance in your devotion. If you are not doing so, it is niyamagraha (abandoning the rules prescribed for one’s eligibility or adopting those rules that are meant for others). By making up your mind, you may have arrived at the conclusion, “I will chant 32 rounds of harinama every day. I will offer obeisance to all the Vaisnavas and to the personalities related to Krishna, Srimati Radhika, our Guru-parampara, and to all the places where Krishna has performed His pastimes. I will offer my obeisance 1, 008 times. I will also read a chapter each of Caitanya Caritamrita and Srimad Bhagavatham.” But later, you think, “I am not completing my vows. Sometimes I do complete them and sometimes I also observe upavasa, I fast from taking food. But I do not chant harinama, while I fast. I may externally chant Hare Krishna but internally extraneous thoughts captivate me.” This is niyamagraha. You should try to complete performing all your devotional services, otherwise it will be niyamagraha. Did all of you understand what I just said?
Devotee: If you make a certain vow to complete a number of rounds, or to perform certain devotional services, you should duly perform them with devotion and not externally.
Srila Gurudeva: Sometimes you gallop past these important services, and sometimes you observe them with caution. Sometimes you worship, sometimes you neglect. Sometimes you listen to hari-katha and sometimes not. These irregularities constitute niyamagraha. So, you should not do like this. You should perform all these devotional services in a regular, chain like manner.
Jana sangas ca—you should not be bound by bad association. Never accept any food or water from the hands of those people who do not engage in the worship of Krishna. Don’t accept anything from them; in their association your intelligence will be destroyed. In their proximity, your bhakti should be kept confidential. Never be engaged in prolonged conversations with them, even if one of the persons happens to be your son, brother, or husband. You can meet and cheat them by speaking on worldly subject matters. But never speak on the confidential truths of bhakti. This way, you should behave accordingly. You should always be engaged in sadhu-sanga. What is the meaning of sadhu-sanga? It means associating with a high class of a devotee who is in the line of our guru, and especially in the line of Srila Rupa Gosvami and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. On finding such a sadhu, you should try to follow his association and listen to his katha. Don’t be entangled in the association of worldly people. The association of people who have no devotion must be avoided at all costs, or else your devotion will be destroyed. This applies even to a godbrother. The godbrother may be chattering here and there, so even your godbrother’s association must be avoided. Rather, you should associate with a devotee absorbed in the devotional services of Krishna. This devotee weeps while he continuously chants the holy name, and he is much more advanced than us.
Laulyam ca- you should have greed for the service of Krishna. Don’t be controlled by greed for acquiring worldly things. You should try to follow all these instructions. I should refrain from speaking more, as the doctors have advised me to take rest. I will feel much separation from the devotees. So, all of you should be satisfied. Maha-prasadam should be distributed to all.
[Break of audio]
[Srila Gurudeva starts his class]
Srila Gurudeva: First of all, I bow down at the lotus feet of my spiritual master, Nitya lila pravista Om Visnupada Sri Srimad Bhakti Prajnana Kesava Gosvami Maharaja. I also bow down to the lotus feet of my siksha guru and sannyasa godbrother, Nitya lila pravista Om Visnupada Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaja. I also bow down to Jagad-guru Nitya lila pravista Om Visnupada Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Thakura. I am very happy to have come to Holland. I have met many devotees here. By their good association, I have become very inspired. Before going to the Western countries like Holland, and England, I thought, “My usage of the English language is not as proficient as the native languages of India. How will I speak wonderful hari-katha and converse with the devotees there?” But by the association of the devotees here, I felt very inspired. My Navadvipa Prabhu helped me so much. He is my English tutor. He has helped in so many ways. He has translated many books. His help will also continue in the future. I want that my books that are published be as authentic as Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura’s and Srila Prabhupada’s books. But my English is poor and lame, so I will not be able to do this by myself. I cannot do this by myself. I will have to ride on his shoulders. My English is lame, but he is not blind like the person mentioned in the analogy, even so, he will take me on his shoulders. I am very happy to have come here. I think my mission in coming here, has been so successful. I become so glad to see the senior devotees of Svamiji because he had ordered me during the final days of his manifest pastimes to help his disciples. Svamiji told me, “You should help my disciples develop in their Krishna Consciousness. You should encourage and inspire them.”
Svamiji also used a specific word to describe certain disciples of his, which I don’t wish to say. I hope that the devotees will not misunderstand me when I repeat this word that Svamiji used. Svamiji told me, “I have collected so many monkeys. They are prone to fight with each other. In preaching my mission, they may be misguided. I need your help. The devotees must be helped and nourished, so that they can proceed on the right path. They should not be misguided.”
But, unfortunately, only a few devotees are following Svamiji. During my stay here, I wanted to visit a center of devotees, but unluckily, the door was closed for me. So, it was very painful. A mayavadi (an impersonalist) can come and enter the temple premises, so can a karmi (materialist). They will also be duly invited and honored, but the devotees are not allowed. How painful this is! I want these transgressions of etiquette to be done away with and they should learn to properly respect devotees. Though I am not a pure devotee, I consider myself to be a dog of Svamiji, so I should be treated well and honored because I have served him so much. I think no one has served Svamiji as much as I did from the beginning of his preaching. Perhaps some of you don’t know how I have served him but Svamiji has liked my service from the beginning even before he took the renounced order. I have served Svamiji from the early days up until the last days of his manifest stay in this world. But some devotees say that I should be avoided. Such false propaganda is not harmful for me, but it is harmful for the devotees who insinuate these baseless allegations. I pray to Prabhupada, Sri Radha-Krishna, and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu that they should be forgiven for this and that they learn to honor each and every Vaisnava. The Vaisnava may be a disciple of any bona fide Guru, and if he has sincerely taken shelter of the lotus feet of Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Nityananda Prabhu, and the Divine Couple—Sri Radha-Krishna; we should honor him. We should try to honor the devotee even if he is not initiated. So you should not follow the devotees who are involved in these transgressions of Vaisnava etiquette. You should try to honor all Vaisnavas who are chanting harinama, regardless of them having accepted first or second initiation. Anyone, who has served Svamiji; we can give our heads for them, our lives for them. We should always try to serve them. If a dog claims, “I am related to Svamiji, and I want to continue my service,” on listening to this dog speak, I will embrace and honor the dog. If you want to progress in the chanting of harinama, and are striving to attain pure bhakti; then you will have to learn to give respect to all Vaisnavas.
trnad api su-nicena
taror iva sahisnuna
kirtaniyah sada harih
–Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Adi 17.31
[“One who thinks himself lower than the grass, who is more tolerant than a tree, and who does not expect personal honor yet is always prepared to give all respect to others can very easily always chant the holy name of the Lord.”]
I don’t know what fault I have committed at the lotus feet of Svamiji, that certain devotees are disgruntled with me. Anyhow, I am very glad to meet you all. I wanted to give my many moods of love and devotion to you all, but lack of time made me unable to do so. I wanted to explain the instructions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to Srila Rupa Gosvami and Srila Sanatana Gosvami, I also wanted to explain the dialog between Sri Raya Ramananda Prabhu and Caitanya Mahaprabhu, these topics are so high class. Without knowing all these discussions on bhakti, you cannot be a bona fide Vaisnava. So if you want to be a bona fide Vaisnava and if you wish to sincerely serve the lotus feet of Prabhupada, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Prabhupada, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Srila Rupa Gosvami, especially Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Nityananda Prabhu, and most especially the Divine Couple—Sri Radha and Krishna; you will have to know all these facets and discussions on pure, unadulterated bhakti.
There are those who say, “You are not qualified to listen to these discussions.” Then for whom are these discussions written? Those who propagate this notion of ineligibility are misguiding other devotees. By listening to these pastimes, a greed will manifest in you to serve like the associates of Sri Radha and Krishna. But how will greed arise in you if choose to not listen to these pastimes? How will you learn to serve? When you are young, you go to school to learn, but if you rather say, “I am not qualified to go to school and learn the different alphabets,” will your teacher relent?
She will say, “Write a, b, c, d.”
But what will you learn if you say, “I am not qualified to learn a, b, c, or d. I am not qualified.” How will you advance in your education? We should try to follow in the footsteps of Svamiji and practice what he has said. Svamiji has never said, “You should dishonor Vaisnavas.” Has Svamiji written this anywhere? Never. Svamiji was a bona fide Guru and Vaisnava. We should follow exactly what he has said. Svamiji may have spoken something that externally may appear wrong to the doubting mind, like Svamiji discouraged certain disciples of his from approaching some devotees. That is why, Svamiji told me during the last days of his physical stay that, “I only did this from the viewpoint of preaching.”
I replied, “You have done any wrong. You did what you were supposed to do at that time. You are a pure Vaisnava. You are a very bosom friend of my Gurudeva. Though he gave you the renounced order, the intimacy of your relationship with him only befits that of bosom friends. You are a dear friend of my Gurudeva. In my heart, you are my Siksha-guru. Moreover, you are my bosom friend.” So, try to follow Svamiji deeply and internally, not externally. I desire that the devotees who left Iskcon, because of their bad behavior, return again. They should be inspired in their services like how they were during Svamiji’s time. The assembled devotees here should broadcast my message of bringing back and helping the devotees who have left Iskcon. They should be helped to progress in their Krishna Consciousness. You should give honor and respect each other. All of you should have love and affection for each other. Those who are chanting Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, should especially be respected. These are my instructions and the essence of my message to you all.
Try to know the dialog between Raya Ramananda Prabhu and Caitanya Mahaprabhu. I have many priceless treasures to give you all, but there is no time. I wanted to explain one sloka of Srimad Bhagavatham. I cannot finish my exposition of the dialog between Raya Ramananda Prabhu and Mahaprabhu, so I will explain this sloka of Srimad Bhagavatham instead.
srantanam vadanani sah
pramrjat karunah premna
–Srimad Bhagavatam 10.33.20
[Seeing that the gopis were fatigued from conjugal enjoyment, my dear King, merciful K???a lovingly wiped their faces with His comforting hand.]
This sloka is from the tenth canto of Srimad Bhagavatham. The meaning is that when Krishna danced with the Gopis, He gave them much respect. He told each of the gopis, “Oh, you are so tired. Pearls of sweat are rolling down your lotus faces.” Telling this, Krishna took His Pitambara, upper cloth, and with His own hands wiped the drops of sweat that had collected on the gopis’ faces.”
During His entreaties to the gopis, Krishna also said, “Are you tired? May I massage your feet? I see that your ankle-bells have loosened while we danced.” Krishna then fastened the ankle-bells with His own hands. He danced with each gopi, He didn’t dance with Srimati Radhika alone. While dancing with Krishna, the gopis thought, “We are saubhagini.” What is the meaning of saubhagini? There is a special meaning to this word. When the husband is controlled by the wife, the wife is called saubhagini. Now, Krishna is controlled by all the gopis. Krishna gave immense respect to the gopis, so all the gopis are ‘saubhagini,’ they are most fortunate. Thus, each gopi began to think, “I am most dear to Krishna. I am His most beloved. None are like me.” So, the gopis became mad in their pride.
Every single gopi thought, “Krishna loves me so much. His love for me is unequalled and unsurpassed.” The gopis were very proud of themselves. Srimati Radhika saw this scene and thought, “Krishna is dancing with Me and also with each gopi. He is dancing with everyone. But everyone thinks that Krishna is dancing with them alone.” So, Srimati Radhika was in maan. Krishna had promised to Srimatiji, “None of the gopis are equal to You. Perfectly and solely, I only want You.” But Krishna went back on His word; He was dancing with Srimati Radhika and the gopis at the same time. So, Srimati Radhika stopped Her dance and became maanvati. The other gopis being prideful thought, “Krishna loves me more than anyone else.” They became exceedingly prideful. Srimati Radhika became maanvati and thought, “I don’t want this. I don’t want to share with anyone.” But it is a fact, that Srimati Radhika wants all the gopis to meet with Krishna. But Srimati Radhika was in maan now. After Srimati Radhika left the dance arena, Krishna thought and realized, “If Srimati Radhika doesn’t take part in this rasa-dance, there is no use of rasa-lila.”
“What should I do to please Srimati Radhika?”
After Srimati Radhika disappeared, Krishna anxiously thought, “Where is Radha? Where is Radha?”
Not seeing Srimati Radhika, Krishna placed the flute on His lips and called out, “Radhe! Radhe!” None of the gopis heard Krishna calling out to Srimati Radhika. None of the gopis noticed that Srimati Radhika has left the dance arena and Krishna also left the arena, intently searching for His dear most beloved. All the gopis began to search desperately for Krishna, the only thought presiding their minds was, “Where is Krishna? Where is Krishna?” They began to weep bitterly and became totally mad in separation from Krishna. In their transcendental madness, they asked the trees around them, “Have you seen my beloved?” But the trees didn’t reply.
The gopis approached Tulasi-devi and said, “Oh you are Krishna-priya, very beloved to Krishna. You know where Krishna is present, because you are so happy by His touch! Your manjaris wave in delight and your bliss knows no bounds. Please tell us where Krishna went.”
On not listening to Tulasi-devi reply, the gopis said, “She is overjoyed by the touch of Krishna. In her state of transcendental madness, she is unable to reply.”
The gopis next approached the creepers and saw many flowers strewn on them. The gopis told one another, “Oh they are laughing because they have met Krishna. Krishna has also plucked some flowers from them.”
The gopis asked the flowers, “Oh Juhi! Oh Malati! Oh Mallike! All of you are so happy! You have certainly met with Krishna. So, please tell us where Krishna went. He has certainly gone past you.” The creeper and the flowers also didn’t reply.
The gopis said, “The creepers are not favorable.”
They then approached the trees like the Kadamba trees, mango trees, Bakula trees, and many other big trees. These trees were full of succulent fruits and beautiful flowers. Seeing the trees, the gopis thought, “Oh the trees are so tall! So, he must have seen which way Krishna went.” The gopis asked the trees about Krishna’s whereabouts, but the trees didn’t reply. The gopis became more and more morose. They then began to imitate Krishna’s movements. One of the gopis thought, “I am Krishna,” while another sakhi thought of herself as the demoness, Putana. The gopis enacted the pastime of Krishna sucking out Putana’s life airs by suckling on her breasts. One gopi thought, “I am killing Putana.” The sakhi who was enacting the pastimes of Putana was not a real sakhi, but rather, a manifestation of Yogamaya-devi. They continuously enacted all of Krishna’s pastimes. The pastimes performed by the gopis constitute a very high kind of mahabhava. These moods are rarely exhibited.
At last, the gopis saw the footprints of Krishna. They took quick notice and started to follow the footprints. After the following the footprints for a while, they saw another pair of beautiful footprints of a very gentle and good Lady. These footprints belonged to a very beautiful Lady. The gopis thought, “Whose footprints are these?”
bhagavan harir isvarah
yan no vihaya govindah
prito yam anayad rahah
–Srimad Bhagavatam 10.30.28
[“Certainly this particular gopi has perfectly worshiped the all-powerful Personality of Godhead, Govinda, since He was so pleased with Her that He abandoned the rest of us and brought Her to a secluded place.”]
“Oh this Gopi has certainly worshiped the Supreme Lord, Narayana and by His grace, She has become so near and dear to Krishna, that Krishna is following Her.” But, Lalita, Visakha, and the other gopis of Srimati Radhika’s group knew that these footprints belonged to their Mistress, Srimati Radhika. They became so glad to see these footprints, while the followers of Candravali became very distressed. They thought, “Who is this Lady?” They couldn’t determine who this Lady was. Now, their pride was dissipated.
The gopis thought, “This Lady who is with Krishna is certainly superior to all other gopis. What can we do as we are not fortunate as this Lady? Who is this Lady?” Lalita, Visakha, and the gopis belonging to Srimati Radhika’s group were very glad.
The gopis then came across some strewn flowers. They also noticed that the footprints of the gopi had disappeared. But at that spot, Krishna’s footprints were imprinted deeply on the ground. Seeing these imprinted footprints, they thought and understood, “The Lady was tired, so Krishna carried the gopi in His arms.”
After coming across these footprints, they came across another scene. Seeing the scattered petals of the flowers, the gopis thought, “Krishna decorated Srimati Radhika here.” This place is called Sringara-vata, a pastime place in Vrindavana. But as they treaded the path, they didn’t see anybody except for Srimati Radhika, who was rolling on the ground and crying bitterly. Piteously weeping, Srimati Radhika fainted. All the gopis rushed to Srimati Radhika and consoled Her. Assisting Srimati Radhika by the side, all the gopis collectively assembled on the banks of the Yamuna. Their cries there in separation of Krishna are known as Gopi-gita.
ayati te ‘dhikam janmana vrajah
srayata indira sasvad atra hi
dayita drsyatam diksu tavakas
tvayi dhrtasavas tvam vicinvate
–Srimad Bhagavatam 10.31.1
[The gopis said, “O beloved, Your birth in the land of Vraja has made it exceedingly glorious, and thus Indira, the goddess of fortune, always resides here. It is only for Your sake that we, Your devoted servants, maintain our lives. We have been searching everywhere for You, so please show Yourself to us.”]
As the gopis sang in separation from Krishna, tears rolled down their lotus faces. Listening to their songs of intense separation, Krishna could not check Himself and He appeared in front of the gopis. On seeing Krishna, some gopis were angry, while some took Krishna’s lotus feet on their laps and gently massaged them. Some gopis placed Krishna’s hands on their shoulders and some gopis served Him in different ways. Some of the gopis who were angry with Krishna, unleashed sidelong glances from the corners of their crooked eyes. And who was the foremost of these gopis who unleashed sidelong glances of jealous pique on Krishna? She was Srimati Radhika Herself. Who was the gopi who gently massaged Krishna’s lotus feet, while placing them on her lap? She was Candravali. Srimati Radhika and Her group of gopis are of a left-wing mood (Vamya-bhava). Srimati Candravali and her group of gopis are of a right-wing mood (Dakshina-bhava). Krishna wants to especially taste the moods of the left-wing gopis. After all the gopis assembled on the banks of the Yamuna, they arranged a seat for Krishna, which was colored with kunkum. Krishna duly sat on that seat.
Seeking forgiveness, Krishna told the gopis, “I have done wrong.” A slight smile of shame embellished His face.
The gopis told Krishna, “We have some questions to ask of You. Will You reply?”
The gopis told Krishna, “Someone has a lot of love for another person. The person to whom the love is directed will also love that person and repay him from the same coin. They love each other. Their love is based on mutual reciprocation. This is one kind of love.”
“The second kind of love is characterized by selflessness; a person will love another person regardless of that person accepting or rejecting their love. This person will have affection for a person even if there is no appreciation or honor from the recipient’s side.”
“The third kind of love is symbolized by personalities like the Four Kumaras. These personalities are indifferent to your outpour or lack, of love and affection. Whether you love or not, you will not be able to elicit a response from this person.”
“These are the three kinds of recipients of love and affection in this world. We request You to please tell us that in which category of love You belong to.”
The gopis wanted to defeat Krishna by His own words. On listening to the gopis speak, Krishna began to smile. Smiling, He told the gopis very gently, “I don’t belong to any of these categories of love. I transcend all these categories. Those who love a person and desire the repayment of their love from that person’s side—are just engaging themselves in business dealings.” For instance, you may give a dollar to a person who readily accepts it. But after this transaction of give and take, no relationship of love and affection is formed between the benefactor and beneficiary. This is banaya-giri, business exchanges. A relationship based on selfishness and not selflessness, stands between the two.
Defending Himself, Krishna said, “I am not of this category because it is not a religion of unrestricted love and affection.” Our love and affection should not be of this class. You should be of the unflinching mentality, “Krishna can give me up, but I cannot give Him up.” Ramachandra can forget Sita and tell her, “You should go away from here and never return.” But Sita can never give up Ramachandra. The disciples or devotees should be of this nature—they should not expect any repayment of love for their services, if they do, then they are not bona fide devotees.
So, Krishna tells the gopis, “I am not of this selfish class of love and affection.” He then said, “There are those people who don’t want to be repaid for their love and affection, even if they not being served or honored by anyone, but yet, they continue loving another person with all their love and affection, so who are these personalities? They are one’s father, mother, and Gurudeva. If a daughter or son are ungrateful to their parents, dishonor them, don’t render service to them, and don’t love them with all their affection, but yet, the parents will have unrequited love and affection for their children. Gurudeva will also have unbroken love and affection for his disciples. But the guru must be bona fide and the parents must be ideal parents. So, this love is very commendable, and is highly religious. This is real love and affection, but I am also not of this category.”
But, Krishna indicated to the gopis, “You are all of this class. You are religious minded and have much honor for Me. Your love and affection for me is unparalleled. All of you belong to this category, but I am not of this category.”
Krishna next spoke on the third category of love where a person is indifferent to one’s love or lack of love. Who are the personalities who belong to this category? They are the atmaramas’ (those who are self-satisfied) and aptakamis’ (those who are satisfied in their self). Guru-drohis (those who betray their guru), and ungrateful people are also of this category. You should know all these categories of the different grades of love and affection. I am explaining all these different categories of love and affection, so that you understand these categories correctly and behave accordingly. What are the symptoms of the highest class of devotees, the Mahabhagavats? You cannot even imagine the stage of the love and affection they are situated in. But, by the association of a Rasika and Tattva-jna Vaisnava, you can develop your Krishna Consciousness and by the mercy of this highest class of Vaisnava, you can realize his exalted nature. If you only pray, “Give me bread and butter Krishna!” “My son is dying, You should save him, otherwise I will throw You in the sea.” Some devotees are of this nature. They would have engaged in the worship of Krishna for ten to twenty years, and when their child is sick, they pray, “Oh Krishna, save my child.” But if the child dies, they throw the deities of Radha and Krishna, Laddu-Gopala in the sea. Along with the deities, they also throw their love and affection for the Lord, their practice of chanting, remembering, and everything else they imbibed in their devotional lives, into the sea. Thus, they become atheists. You should not be like this.
So, Krishna hints at how exalted the nature of the gopis’ love is. Atmarama—even if you have much love and affection for personalities like Sri Sukadeva Gosvami, the Four Kumaras; they will not reciprocate with your love. They will always be absorbed in thoughts of Krishna and they will not entertain any desire of reciprocal love. They have no love and affection for anyone, except Krishna. Aptakama—these personalities have all their desires fulfilled, there is no desire of theirs that is unfulfilled. A personality of this category will never try to fulfill his desires. If a person claiming to be aptakama wants something from you, how can he be aptakama? He is not aptakama. The Four Kumaras are aptakama, all their desires are fulfilled.
Do you know who a guru-drohi is? A guru-drohi doesn’t respect his Gurudeva and he disobeys his Gurudeva. The persons belonging to this category have left their Gurudeva, they are not engaged in his service anymore. They only follow their Gurudeva outwardly, to fulfill their self-interests. But they don’t follow their Gurudeva deeply and internally, these duplicitous persons who only externally follow their Gurudeva are called guru-drohis.
What is the meaning of akratyagna? It means being ungrateful. If a person doesn’t honor his father, mother, and Gurudeva, but doesn’t do anything against them, then he is being ungrateful. Krishna told the gopis, “I am not among any of these categories. Why? If I was aptakama, then why did I weep for bread and butter from Mother Yasoda? I would even weep when she wouldn’t breast-feed Me. If I was really aptakama, why did I call the names, ‘Radhe, Lalite, Visakhe,” on My Vamsi (flute). Listening to your names being called out, all of you have assembled here. So, I am not an aptakama. I want something from you, and you can quench My thirst, so I have called you all here. Hence, I am not an atmarama or an aptakama. I have many desires to taste your moods of love and affection for Me. Without your love, I cannot live for even a moment. I can never forget you all. Therefore, I am not aptakama.”
In His efforts to please the gopis, Krishna further told them, “I want to dance and sing with you all. I want to be favored by you all. I have much honor for you all, and I want to serve you all. That is why, I invited you all here. During the rasa dance, I wiped the drops of sweat that had collected on your lotus faces. So, how can I be aptakama? Sometimes, in My childhood, I would be greatly angered and throw a tantrum wherein I would break many vessels. I would also engage in stealing butter. There is not a single house in Vraja where I have not stolen from. [Laughter] Hence, how can I be aptakama or atmarama? I am also not a guru-drohi or an ungrateful person. Why?” First, we should know who a guru-drohi is. A guru-drohi disobeys and even tries to kill his Gurudeva. He gives pain to his Gurudeva and to his parents.
Krishna told the gopis, “I am not such an abominable person. You will realize this gradually. I am not an ungrateful person, because I have come to your side now. Sitting beside you all, I joke and engage in many conversations with you all. We also dance with each other. Therefore, I am not an ungrateful person. I have appeared before you all. Why did I go away from you all? I only did this to increase your prema to Me. While all of you sang in separation from Me, I watched you all while hiding behind the trees and realized how all of you have become mad in separation from Me.”
[Break of audio]
Srila Gurudeva: … So, Krishna is instructing the entire world, “You should serve the gopis and be like them, then I can be controlled, otherwise not.”
Krishna tells the gopis, “Na paraye ham niravadya samyujam—I am so indebted to you all, in lakhs and lakhs of births, I will not be able to repay My debt to your spotless service. All of you have given up your husbands, and everyone else. You have all also forsaken your shame, which is the wealth of a woman. Giving up everything, you have all assembled here. I cannot requite My debt to you all. I cannot leave any of My devotees, but all of you have renounced everyone and have come to see Me alone. So, I can never repay you all.”
“If I tell you gopis, ‘You should have any benediction from Me,’ I will not be able to fulfill it, if you all say, ‘You should only love me, and not anyone else.’ I cannot leave Rukmini and Satyabhama; I cannot leave Arjuna; I cannot leave even an ant, what to speak of My devotees? Hence, I will always be indebted to you all.”
The gopis replied, “You have conquered us by admitting Your indebtedness to us. We cannot repay You.”
Krishna tells the gopis, “I cannot repay you.” And the gopis tell Him, “We cannot repay You.” After their conversation, rasa-lila resumed.
So, you should try to realize these pastimes by the strength of your bhajan and try to follow this line.
If anybody says, “We will not hear these pastimes,” how can they conceive of transcendental love? I have only described a little of the glories of the gopis’ love to Krishna. By explaining the glories of the gopis’ love, you will realize how marvelous and sweet their love is. If you listen to these pastimes, your heart will jump in joy. These glories of the gopis will lead you to Goloka-Vrindavana and you will find yourself serving Krishna there under the guidance of the gopis for eternity.
Gaura Premanande! Hari Haribol!
[Transcribed by the Bhaktabandhav Team]